So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops