A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops