what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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I'm HIV positive.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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