What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i named my son Frodo because he was little

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Nazis does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Their domestic handiness was not impeded by their warped sense of entitlement and racial superiority.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

thumb_up thumb_down +4

my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops