2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Neither have I

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops