Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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So I was walking down the road today

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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