Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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I once did something.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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