What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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