My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

Drew Knowles is gay

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

politically correct!

why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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