Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops