Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Women's Rights.

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Dogs

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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womens rights

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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