What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Okay, after this one then...

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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