Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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