BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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