What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Screw it you write the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops