When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Fart

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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David Cameron

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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