Koalas mum is a slut

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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arena football

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Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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women's rights, lol

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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A man buys a prius

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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sure!

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops