Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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