Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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http://www.dafk.net/what/

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops