Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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People...

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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