Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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People...

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops