What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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