What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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