A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's blue? The sky.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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