Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Feminism.

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My parents died!

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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