A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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24

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops