Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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I have an erection My mom!

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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