a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

Carrot fingers

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have no idea how to rhyme, I like tacos

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

Women's rights

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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