Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

Carrot fingers

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

Where's my tractor?

Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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