Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Testicles.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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were you expecting a joke

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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