What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Testicles.

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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were you expecting a joke

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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