what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops