What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops