What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Why couldnt Jimmy ride a bike? refrigerator

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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