Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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