What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops