Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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The New York Giants

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Communism hehe xd

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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