YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Golf.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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