- Anti Joke

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

A miserable man committed suicide.

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

Whats cold and frozen? ice

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

knock knock... ...no answer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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