What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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jews

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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