What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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