Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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a black man pays his child support

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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