What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

8

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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