Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops