Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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