What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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