What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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Women.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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