knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops