A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

How old is victor? Half past dead

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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