How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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25

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Guest what in the butt

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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