Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

9/11 my birthday

bite me

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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