teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops