Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Justin Bieber

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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